Battle of the Talk Show Hosts
by coolman3
Summary: Fry and Leela become rivals in the talk show game. When Fry's show gets cancelled, he challenges Leela to a Battle of the Talk Show Hosts.


Futurama

Battle of the Talk Show Hosts

Announcer: Futurama is brought to you by...Fish Eyes, it's really fishy.

A family is eating Blinky (the three-eyed fish from The Simpsons) and his eyes.

Announcer: It tastes fishy, but it's 100 percent total mutant expired fish.

The family munches on it.

Dad: Ew.

Opening credits.

Caption Gag: Everybody Do The Bender In Honour Of Our Favourite Robot.

Screen Gag: Judy Jetson trying to enter a bus with groceries in both hands.

Cut to the lounge. Bender, Fry & Leela are watching "All My Circuits". Caculon is in the bedroom seeing Monique and Boxy in bed.

Calculon: Monique, my love, you were having an affair with my enemy...Boxy, why shall thy do this?

Monique: It's not what it looks like.

Boxy beeps.

Calculon: What do you mean suck on that!

Fry laughs.

Leela: What's so funny?

Fry whispers in Leela's ear.

Leela: That's so immature.

Bender: And factually incorrect.

The holographic head of the Professor pops up.

Professor Farnsworth: Good news everyone! You have to deliver cue cards to Channel 2, the talk show network.

Fry: Cool, I love shows like Jerry Springer.

Leela: Fry, Jerry Springer is a bunch of white trash. Now Maury Povich, his a talk show host.

Bender: Your human talk shows are inferior to our superior robot talk shows...like Talk-Show Bot 1 and Talk-Show Bot 2 and etc.

Professor Farnsworth: Now, now...go now before I get angry.

Fry: Maury Povich, his show is a bunch of freaks!

Leela: So is Jerry Springer!

The Microsoft XP sounds.

Leela: What did you need to do that!

Professor Farnsworth: Go.

Leela, Fry & Bender leave.

Professor Farnsworth: I would say goodbye personally, but I'm busy with Dr. Zoidberg, I need to extract DNA from him to make a super lobster that pinches people to death.

The holographic head disappears.

Leela: C'mon let's go.

Bender: Hey Fry, what's so great about Jerry Springer anyway?

Fry: You see, a guy cut off his own wing-dang-doodle.

Bender: WHOOOOOOO!

Cut to the Planet Express ship.

Bender: I'm ready for some action (cut to female Planet Express ship voice as Bender's eyes turn red) and cuddly tapirs!

Fry: What was that?

Bender's eyes turn back to normal.

Bender: Nothing, now let's go. I'm missing All My Circuits here, it was a juicy episode.

Leela starts off the ship and flies off. Cut to Channel 2 Studios. The ship lands on the executives' cars and squashes them. Leela, Fry & Bender walk off.

Fry: Leela, what sort of parking is that?

Leela: A woman's.

Fry: Sure, blame the good guy.

Cut inside. Leela, Fry & Bender met up with the Network Alien (i.e. Horrible Genetous Blob).

Mr. Blob: Hello, my name is Horrible Genetous Blob; you can call me Mr. Blob. Have you delivered those cue cards?

Leela: Yep.

Pause.

Leela: Bender?

Bender: What I'm empty.

Bender bangs his chest cabinet, as it opens and several cue cards fall out.

Bender: What?

Mr. Blob: Okay, you want to be an audience on the Jerry Springer show?

Leela & Fry: Yes (Leela: No).

Fry: Yes.

Bender: Okay.

Fry: Two against one!

Leela: Ugh.

Mr. Blob hands them out tickets.

Mr. Blob: It's in Studio A, meet me there and you'll get to meet Jerry Springer after the show!

Cut to Studio A. Jerry Springer's head in a jar is attached on a robot body, one hand is a cue card and another one is a microphone.

Announcer: You've watched it! You can't un-watch it! Here's Jerry Springer whose in his 1000000th season, with over 1, 0000,000000,000000,000000,000000 episodes...here's JERRY SPRINGER!

Jerry Springer's Head: Hello, my guests today say: "Father Knows Transsexual" where fathers have battles with there sons yearning to be a woman.

The title cards "Jerry Springer" and "Father Knows Transsexual" appears on the left hand corner of the screen.

Jerry Springer's Head: Also to those viewers wanting to watch the earlier episodes, Channel 2 has now found the "destroyed" tapes which disappeared with the second coming of Jesus, along with the other tapes. Old episodes re-premiere today after this show.

Fry: This is great, huh?

Leela:(sarcastic): Yeah, great.

Jerry Springer's Head: Tomorrow's episode "Gay Guy and the Ghost" will be pre-empted due to coverage of the Space Pope's funeral.

Fry: Hurry up!

Jerry Springer's Head: It's what the up-to-the-minute holographic cue cards are telling me! Okay, our first guest is a 19 year-old father who is dealing with his 39-year old transvestite son. Please welcome Bob Saget Jnr. Jnr. Jnr.

Cut to Bob Saget Jnr. Jnr. Jnr. who is dressed in "KISS" makeup, is sitting on a chair. The "revealing" parts of his body are blurred.

Bender: WAY TO SHOW YOURSELF! WHOOOOOOO!

Fry: Shut up.

Jerry Springer's Head: Bob, your yearning to be a woman, aren't you?

Bob: No, I'm just a hardcore "KISS" fan who is apart of a nudist colony.

Bender: IT SHOWS! WHOOOOOO!

Fry: Shut up.

Jerry Springer's Head: Here's your father Bob Saget Jnr. Jnr. Jnr. Jnr.

Bob Saget Jnr. Jnr. Jnr. Jnr. enters.

Bob's Dad: How dare you be a transsexual, you bastard!

The dad aims to punch his son, then Steve's head in a jar, attached to a robot body prevents this by breaking them apart.

Jerry Springer's Head: Thank you Steve.

Steve's Head: Nice to work for you, Jerry.

Jerry Springer's Head walks up to Fry and grabs out his microphone hand.

Fry: Yeah, I'll like to say, you're crazy for being a transgender! Also, you don't look any better; any gay guy would say so!

Randy: That's right!

All the audience chant, throw a riot.

Jerry Springer's Head: Eh, this is stupid.

Fry: Show me some boobs!

Bender: YEAH! WHOOOOOOOOO!

Jerry Springer's Head: My holographic cue card says to cut to commercial; we'll be back with this story after a news break, and a message by Medium Tabasco.

Bender: WHOOOOOOOOO!

A signal saying: "We'll Be Right Back", then cut back to the studio. It's on fire a little bit, and the rioting has stopped.

Bob: This is stupid Jerry; I'm a mega KISS fan...

Fry: HEY! A FAN OF BEING KISSED BY A GUY!

Bender: WHOOOOOOOO!

Leela moans.

Bob: Come down here, and lets fight!

Fry: Sure, Leela hold my shirt.

Fry takes his shirt off and gives it to Leela, and runs down the rows as the audience cheer: "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"

Jerry Springer's Head: Do something Steve!

Steve's Head: I want to see what happens.

Fry punches Bob, and then kicks them in the "final areas" (still blurred, mind you).

Bob: You can punch the punch and kick the kick, but can you do this!

Fry kicks Bob in the chest as he flies off, the audience go nuts (and riot, again).

Mr. Blob: RATINGS ARE THROUGH THE ROOF!

Jerry Springer's Head: Really?

Mr. Blob slides through and eats Bob, and he dissolves.

Jerry Springer's Head: Wait...22.22/222? That's the highest ratings ever!

Fry: Ugh, go Fry...go Fry! Go Fry! Go Fry!

Leela: Fry is such an idiot.

Bender: Did you see that?

Leela: Yes.

Bender: That was awesome!

Leela: Immature if you ask me.

Announcer: Later on the show...

Cut backstage.

Mr. Blob: Hello Jerry Springer, this is Phillip Fry, Bender Rodriguez and Turanga Leela.

Jerry Springer's Head: Why should I care?

Mr. Blob: This is the guy who skyrocketed ratings, the ratings are so good, that I even considered another season!

Jerry Springer's Head: Geez, let it die.

Mr. Blob: Sorry you, Mr. Fry...would you like your own talk show?

Fry: Huh? I'm not Channel 2 material, heck...I'm not even FOX material.

Mr. Blob: If you let everything run wild, and your reckless behaviour, money in the bag!

Leela: What?

Fry: Okay!

Leela: What?

Announcer: Interesting stuff, stay turned for more Tales of Interest!

"Tales of Interest" pops up on the screen.

Announcer: I mean...

A Futurama bumper pops up.

Announcer: Futurama.

Cut to commercial.

Cut to Planet Express conference room. Dr. Zoidberg is now a tough lobster with a cape, the Professor is sleeping, Amy is putting on lipstick, Hermes is writing on a type-writer, Fry is drinking beer, Bender is smoking a cigar and kicking it back, and Scruffy is moping up vomit in the background. Leela enters.

Leela: I can't believe that Fry has his own talk show on Channel 2!

Bender: It has a name Leela, Talk-O-Rama.

Leela: If a dumbwad like Fry can have his own show, I should!

Bender: How? You're not Talk-O-Rama material.

Leela: I might not be a material girl living in a material world; I'm going to a channel where a girl like me can make it!

Bender: How?

Leela: It might involve going down to the lowest dominator, but everyone watches it because they are perverts...and that's at...

Cut to a shot-down RV, with a broken banner saying "FO" and the "X" is hanging upside down. Cut inside, Gail Berman's head in a jar and Rupert Murdoch's head in a jar are sitting along side executive robots like the ones from "Bender Should Not Be Allowed on Television".

Gail Berman's Head: So, a 11:00am showing of "Debbie Does Dallas"?

Rupert Murdoch's Head: Yep.

Executive Robot #1: 95 percent of the network is porno!

Pause.

Gail Berman's Head: And then we'll be showing old repeats of our old shows for one day, back to porno and a kids show then...

Leela enters.

Executive Robot #2: There is such thing as knocking!

Leela: Okay, can I have my own talk show?

Rupert Murdoch's Head: Ugh...like Humorbot 5.0 style or Talk-Show Bot 1 and 2?

Leela: The second kind.

Rupert Murdoch's Head: Okay, up against "The Fry Show"?

Leela: Yes thank you.

Gail Berman's Head: Time to scrap the "Debbie Does Dallas" rerun.

Cut to Planet Express lounge. Everyone is watching TV, and Fry enters.

Fry: Friends! I made my first episode and it's going to be shown in a few minutes!

Leela: Well...so did I, and what a shame, it's on the same time. We can't watch it.

Fry: What? Why?

Leela: Professor?

Professor Farnsworth: Turn it to FOX damnit! They're airing "Debbie Does Dallas"!

Hermes turns it over and a bumper with Leela in the middle saying: "Gentle Leela".

Hermes: Gentle Leela?

Announcer: Now the premiere of a new FOX original, the first one in years and years and years, not including "Happy the Clown". Gentle Leela.

Professor Farnsworth: WHAT! After this I'm going to rent ultra-porn!

Amy: Leela has her own talk show? Well, I wonder what she'll look like...

Cut to Leela in a pink outfit with white rings around it.

Amy: Leela...you look great!

Leela: Finally you admit it!

Amy: Not as cute as me though.

Leela groans.

Cut to the TV.

Leela: Hello, I'm Leela. Today's show includes a little 8-year old boy coming back from having a surgery for a very serious illness, Polio 11. Here is Grady O'Gail and Pry Jackor.

Grady: Hello Leela.

Leela: Hello Pry.

Pry: Hello Leela.

Leela: How was it like to have a son with Polio 11?

Grady: Well, at least they can fix it!

Leela: Is it true, that you even froze your son 1,0000,000000,000000,00000000,00000000,000000000,000000000,00000000,00000000 years from the beginning of time?

Grady: Yes, all our doctors were dumb, and we froze ourselves including Liww, our son, to the year 3005.

Leela: Which is this very year?

Pry: Yes.

Fry: What the Hell is this, let's watch my show!

Leela: I don't think so Fry, I just feed the remote to Nibbler.

Fry: Ugh.

Nibbler burps and it changes to "CBS".

Announcer: Tonight on 60 Minutes, a man tries to have sex with all the female producers...in 60 minutes, not really because of commercials, but this would be commercial free!

Nibbler burps and changes to "Channel 2".

Fry: Gaybo!

Audience: GAYBO!

Randy: But I love you Fry!

Fry: I love a very special lady...Leela.

Audience: Oooooooooh.

Fry: AND I HAD SEX WITH HER!

Audience: YEAH! FRY! FRY! FRY! FRY!

Leela:(shocked): FRY!

Fry: What?

Nibbler burps and changes it back to FOX.

Leela: Okay, it's okay Pry.

Pry:(crying): Crying makes me a man!

Leela: No it doesn't.

Nibbler vomits out the remote and it breaks.

Professor Farnsworth: The remote...it's not fair, it's not fair! Oh well, at least I can grab out a little TV.

The little TV breaks.

Dr. Zoidberg: Too bad.

Professor Farnsworth: NOOOOOOOO!

The camera views out to "Twilight Zone" music. Cut to Talk-O-Rama studios. Fry enters and sees Mr. Blob, some executive robots and a laptop computer.

Mr. Blob: Mr. Fry, sit down!

Mr. Blob points at a plant. Fry sits on the plant.

Mr. Blob: Not there, there! Not there, there!

Fry then sits down on a chair.

Mr. Blob: Hahahahahahahahaha, there.

Laptop: Mr. Fry, ratings for the premiere done poorly, really poorly.

Mr. Blob: It lost to "Gentle Leela" on FOX.

Executive Robot: It got a poor rating 0.3/3.

Fry: Only three viewers?

Executive Robot: Yeah.

Executive Robot #2 shakes two dice, the numbers come up as "6" and "4".

Executive Robot #2: Six more talk shows like "Gentle Leela" next fall, and only "4" other original shows remaining.

Fry: I salute those three viewers, whoever they are!

Cut to Cubert, Dwight & Tinny Tin.

Cubert: Fry rocked!

Dwight: Let's go to a strip club!

Tinny Tin: I got a fake ID chumps!

Cubert: YEAH!

Dwight: He had sex with the one-eyed cyclops.

Cut back to the room.

Mr. Blob: If the ratings don't improve by the end of the week...you're gone!

Fry: But you ordered 5 trial episodes.

Mr. Blob: Yes, 5 more days until May ends, meaning the regular season ends...Gentle Leela has also 5 trial episodes, and if it survives, 50 more episodes will be ordered. Don't screw up!

Dramatic chord.

Fry: Only 5 episodes to prove myself? Who suggests this stuff?

Cut to Executive Robot #2, he rolls one dice and the number "1" pops up.

Executive Robot #2: Next fall, new shows will only have 1 episode to prove itself.

Cut to the FOX conference room.

Rupert Murdoch's Head: Leela, your show did great. A 57/567.7 is not only THE best rating, but THE best rating this network has gotten!

Leela: Why thank you.

Gail Berman's Head: Just watch the money and rip-offs roll in!

Rupert Murdoch's Head: Leela with your mind so bright, will you stay around to kill our competitors in the ratings with all your might?

Leela: I know about it, 50 more episodes.

Rupert Murdoch's Head: No...100 episodes!

Dramatic chord.

Executive Robot #1: How did she know about the 50 episodes?

Gail Berman's Head: It was on her contract.

Leela: There's got to be a catch, wear skimpier outfits?

Rupert Murdoch's Head: No catches, but skimpy outfits will help.

Leela moans. Cut to Planet Express lounge. Dr. Zoidberg, Professor Farnsworth, Leela, Amy, Scruffy, Hermes are watching "Gentle Leela".

Dr. Zoidberg: Let's watch the show already.

Leela: The show will start late because there are a lot of ads on FOX.

Cut to a bumper reading "Gentle Leela".

Announcer: Today on Gentle Leela, she will delve in to the lives of men who are afraid of women.

Cut to Leela wearing a pink shirt with a purple skirt on.

Leela: Today, we will chronicle the lives of single men who are afraid of women.

Cut to the lounge.

Amy: Pretty skimpy outfit for a person like you, Leela.

Leela slaps Amy.

Amy: That didn't hurt one bit, and now I'm going to put some lipstick on.

Amy stands up, and slips.

Amy: AAAAGH! I'm okay.

The floor cracks and Amy falls through.

Amy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGH! Now I'm not okay.

Dr. Zoidberg: The strength of my feet cracked the floor.

Professor: WHO CARES!

The Professor slaps Zoidberg down the hole.

Scruffy: Where's Fry?

Leela: His watching his show at his apartment.

Cut to Robot Arms Apt. Fry is watching TV in his underpants, in the background Roberto falls out of the window.

Fry:(on TV): And now my last option, I mean opinion. Gay people who have sex with their sisters are not gay, but incest bastards who deserve to go to jail, also brothers who marry each other should not marry, but if they do so only if they were drunk, having a night out in Las Vegas and annul the marriage as soon as possible. Make freaks of yourselves, and appear on my show!

The credits start rolling: "Last Opinion Written By Fry, Directed by Directing Unit 2.1, Executive Producer Horrible Genetous Blob, Copyright 3005.

Fry: I still got it, hey where's Roberto?

Cut to the Executive Room. Fry enters.

Mr. Blob: Sit down!

Fry sits in the chair.

Mr. Blob: Ha, ha...there.

Fry: What am I doing here sir?

Mr. Blob: Listen Fry, 5 episodes have past.

Fry: 2 episodes.

Mr. Blob: Yeah, and your show dropped in ratings, only 1 viewer? What the Hell is that?

Fry: I watched it Mr. Horrible Gene-tenutos Blob.

Mr. Blob: Genetous.

Fry: Genetous, that's it.

Mr. Blob: Anyway, I don't think your show is doing well another to even meet up with the 5 episode trial.

Fry: That reminds me, where were those 3 idiots who didn't watch my show!

Cut to a strip club. Dwight is smoking a cigar, Cubert is dancing with an exotic dancer, and Tinny Tin is looking at the robot strippers.

Cubert: This is great!

Tinny Tin: Oh lord! I can see her bare circuits, but also arousing at the same time!

Dwight: Oh, this is great! I haven't seen strippers this hot since the hidden porno stash my Dad gave to me when he turned into a kid!

Cut back to the Executive room.

Mr. Blob: I'm sorry Fry, you're cancelled.

Dramatic chord.

Mr. Blob: You have 0.5 seconds to get your stuff.

Cut to the Planet Express kitchen.

Leela: So, my show was ordered 100 more episodes, what about you Fry?

Fry: It's cancelled.

Leela: Oh really? Only 2 episodes, too bad so sad.

Fry: Only Australian teachers say that.

Bender: Really?

Leela: I suppose you'll be watching MY show now.

Fry: I suppose.

Cut to the Planet Express lounge. Leela, Amy, Dr. Zoidberg, Professor Farnsworth and Scruffy.

Leela: Where's Fry? He said he was going to watch my show.

Announcer: Now, the mistress you can't have...Gentle Leela.

Leela:(On TV): Today on my show, people whose IQ is below there own age. Please welcome a hillbilly.

Fry enters.

Leela: Fry?

Leela:(On TV): Fry? You're not a hillbilly.

Fry:(On TV): Yes, Leela it's me. Ever since I got that show, you've brought out a show where you actually talk about stuff. It's like your jealous or something or trying to teach me a lesson, this is stupid, and that's why I challenge you to a...BATTLE OF THE TALK SHOW HOSTS.

Dramatic chord.

Fry: On Channel 2.

Leela: Oh, now I remember.

Professor Farnsworth: Why did people watch his show in the first place?

Cut to Cubert, Dwight and Tinny Tin.

Cubert: This is great television.

Dwight: That must be the Cyclops Fry slept with.

Tinny Tin: She's no Stripper-Bot 5000.

Cubert: Yeah, she is...SHE'S HOT! Oops, that sorta slipped.

Cut to commercial.

Cut to Talk-O-Rama studios.

Mr. Blob: Okay Fry, here's how the Battle of the Talk Show hosts are done. A guest will be on, and the competitor will try to win over viewers, and it's you who has to also try to win over viewers, buttons will be on the audience member's seat and when the hour is over, the interactive votes will be tabulated and the winner will be crowned King of Talk.

Fry: Okay.

Mr. Blob gives Fry a piece of paper.

Mr. Blob: Here's another version of the rules to give to Ms. Leela.

Cut to the Head Museum. The banner reads: "Putting Heads in Jars Since 2010". Cut inside, Fry walks over to the Talk Show Hosts section.

Fry: This is great, hey it's Jenny Jones!

Jenny Jones' Head: Hello Fry, your crazy show makes me want to vote for you.

Fry: It's Sharon Osbourne!

Sharon Osbourne's Head: My show has celebrity guests.

Fry: It's an animation cel of Space Ghost.

Space Ghost: Now holographic.

Fry: I watched that show since it premiered in 1994, or was it 1968?

Ricki Lake's Head: I'm Ricki Lake, and I'm saying to you Fry, whoop Leela's ass.

Maury Povich's Head: No, people must talk about there feelings.

Ricki Lake's Head: Hey Maury, whose the talk show host slash actress?

Maury Povich's Head: You.

Fry: Your show sucks, it's just a freak show.

Jerry Springer's Head: Hello Fry.

Fry: Jerry? I thought your show is still going?

Jerry Springer's Head: All our shows are still going, this is our home away from home.

Ryan Kwanten's Host: Home and away.

Jerry Springer's Head: Your not even a talk show host.

Fry: I'm going to whoop Leela's ass in something for once!

Ricki Lake's Head: That's the spirit!

Fry: Go me.

Cut to Planet Express.

Fry: Yeah Dr. Zoidberg, the big Battle of the Talk Show hosts is going to be on Sunday at 9:00pm, and it's going to be live.

Dr. Zoidberg: Really?

Fry: And everyone has got tickets to see it.

Dr. Zoidberg: Really?

Fry: Well except you Dr. Z.

Dr. Zoidberg: Dr. Zorro or me.

Fry: You.

Dr. Zoidberg: Poor ole Dr. Zoidberg.

Cut to Talk-O-Rama studios. An Announcer-Bot rolls out.

Announcer-Bot: Here, are our two commentators, Commentator Bot #1 and Commentator Bot #2. And also here our two hosts with the mostest, Turanga Leela.

Leela walks up on to the stage.

Bender: BOOOOOO!

Amy: Go Leela!

Professor Farnsworth: Whoop Leela's sorry ass, Fry!

Cut to Dr. Zoidberg watching it on the TV.

Dr. Zoidberg: It just ain't the same.

Cut to the stage.

Announcer-Bot: And the other guy we all forgot, FRY!

Fry hovers in with a jet-pack then stands up, and gives the jet-pack to an Assistant Robot.

Amy: GO FRY!

Bender: WHOOOOOO!

Professor Farnsworth: C'mon, you orange-haired loser from the year 2000!

Hermes: You suck Fry!

Scruffy: Scruffy done support the bucket host.

Hermes: Bucket Host?

Announcer-Bot: And the last host, Buckethead.

A bucket rolls in.

Announcer-Bot: Here's your man, Randy, a homosexual who is cheating on his boyfriend with a girl.

Randy walks in.

Leela: So...

Fry: Randy...

Leela: you're...

Fry: A homosexual! Sorry.

Leela: And you...

Fry: Cheated-on-him-with-a-girl!

Leela: Fry.

Randy: Yes Leela.

A "ding" is heard.

Randy: I don't know what to do...

Fry: Dump-the-guy-and-keep-it-on-with-the-girl!

Leela: Listen Fry, if you think you're so smart, you finish off this problem.

Fry: Okay.

Randy: But I want Leela to solve the problem.

A "ding" is heard again.

Commentator-Bot #1: Two dings, in less then one minute.

A "ding" is heard again.

Commentator-Bot #2: Three dings for Leela!

A "ding" is heard.

Commentator-Bot #1: One for Fry.

Cut to Bender.

Bender: One for Fry.

Bender presses a button.

Commentator-Bot #2: Two!

Bender presses the button 17 more times.

Commentator-Bot #2: That's 19 dings!

Cut to the stage.

Leela: I'll do it!

Fry: Hey Leela, people like me better!

Leela: No they don't, Bender just voted for you 19 times!

Announcer-Bot: Okay, we'll be right back after this commercial.

Fry: No we won't! We're finishing this now!

Leela: Randy, sick with your heart!

Randy: Sick?

Leela: I mean stick!

Fry: No, get it on with the chick!

Randy: You're all so confusing!

Leela: Just stick with your heart, Randy.

A "ding" is heard.

Fry: Grrrr, listen Mr. Gay Guy, you get it on with the chick or otherwise I'll...

Randy: What?

Fry: Nothing.

Leela: Randy...

Fry: You're all talk, Leela and no action!

Leela: Oh yeah?

Fry: Yeah.

Leela: Yeah?

Fry: Yeah.

Leela karate-kicks Fry.

Fry: Oh man.

Randy: Mr. Buckethead, what should I do?

Randy puts his head next to the bucket.

Randy: I'M GOING TO DUMP THE GIRL! Thank you Buckethead, you didn't put pressure on me.

192 "dings" are heard.

Commentator-Bot #1: 192 dings for Buckethead, and he wins by default!

Fry: Default?

Leela: What are they talking about default?

Fry: WHY NOT ME? LOVE ME!

Cut backstage. Fry is sitting on the balcony no top of the set, Leela walks in.

Leela: Hey.

Fry: Hi Leela.

Leela: So, the bucket won, huh?

Fry: Yeah.

Leela: Fry why are you so upset?

Fry: Because I wanted to win, because in the past I was a loser, and now I'm a loser.

Leela: You're not a loser to me, Fry.

Leela reaches her hand out, as she pulls Fry up and they walk off holding hands.

Fry: So, how could the bucket win if he couldn't talk?

Leela: I'll never understand.

End of "Battle of the Talk Show Hosts".


End file.
